Postpartum Phone Support Available for Dads

I've written here before about the mounting evidence that fathers experience postpartum mood disorders at about the same rates as mothers: approximately one in ten. The resources available for treatment, however, are much more oriented toward a mother's needs and experiences.

Postpartum Support International is working to correct this imbalance. PSI hosts a weekly "Chat With an Expert" every Monday for men who are experiencing symptoms of PPMD or for others who care about someone who is. Will Courtney, PhD, and Susan Dowd Stone, MSW, LCSW, will be taking calls to answer your questions.

When Religion Arouses Anxiety

In my history of consulting with others who are affected by anxiety, I have noticed that for some, religious faith can either heal or exacerbate anxiety. Those whose anxiety is heightened by religious faith often talk about wanting to live out or discern God's plan for their lives. With these conversations in mind, I was intrigued by this talk by Jin Kim in which he promotes the contrasting idea that "God doesn't want us to do anything."



I'm wondering how Jin Kim's ideas about faith can lead to a quieting of anxiety's messages about how one should live and can it lead to a place of "shalom" or "peace" as he purports.

Big thanks to my friend Mike Bischoff over at the Spirit of Institutions blog for the video clip.

When the "Home Game" Isn't Dad's "A Game"

I heard Michael Lewis, author of "Home Game," interviewed on Charlie Rose today. While a number of women have come forward about their feelings of numbness after the birth of their children (Brooke Shields, most notably, comes to mind), men have been virtually silent on the issue. It was so refreshing to hear this interview where Lewis confesses, despite the social pressure to remain silent, that he did not feel instant love for his newborn. He shares how he eventually came to love his baby, but only after the fog of sleep deprivation and new parent anxiety lifted. An important new book has arrived just in time for Father's Day.

The Stuff of Life

I was visiting a friend the other day who, much to my surprise, treated me to a delicious loaf of freshly-baked bread. Now, the surprise wasn't so much in the bread itself--it was the manner in which the bread was made. My friend has two very busy and active boys under the age of 3. And yet, at 11:30 on a weekday morning, she was pulling out two beautiful loaves of hearty bread out of her oven.

How on Earth did she do it, I wondered. She explained that she can have that feeling of being away from her children, yet still be close enough to intervene with them if necessary. When she's kneading the dough, she can have a meditative moment while still observing the busy movements of her boys around her.

I found this an apt metaphor for coping with other "distracting" forces, such as depression or anxiety. The "noisiness" of anxiety or depression can demand much of one's attention, but when engaged in such meditation, as in kneading bread, we can observe its play from a distance. By achieving such space, one can come away with a deep sense of renewal and satisfaction.

I am already thinking about what I want to bake when I need a moment of solitude among the noise. I'm feeling inspired by Orangette's recipe for Everyday Cake. Even though she's taking a break right now, this Seattle food blogger has a wonderful index of recipes from which you might find your own domestic respite.

Your Imaginary Friend Plays Columbia City Farmer's Market (For Real!)

Living in the northern half of North America has its benefits as well as challenges. Here in Seattle, we enjoy a wealth of outdoor activities during spring and summer (many of which are free or cheaper than dirt) for all to enjoy. The farmer's markets provide a chance to connect with the people who produce the food we eat, visit with neighbors, and sometimes hear live music. This Wednesday's Columbia City Farmer's Market offers all of the above. Local children's band Your Imaginary Friend will be playing the market, located at Rainier Ave. and S. Edmunds Street, behind the Bank of America from 4:00 to 6:00 pm. Singer Jana Vitols has the most exquisite voice, sure to put those winter blahs behind us for good. Bring a blanket, a picnic, a friend (real and/or imaginary), and a pair of dancin' shoes because free outdoor fun is what makes the season great.

Reflective Parenting Lecture in Seattle

For all the Seattle parents, I highly recommend this Reflective Parenting lecture by Margaret Bergmann-Ness. Margaret is a very thoughtful practitioner and Tuesday's lecture is sure to leave parents feeling recharged and in charge. I would attend myself, but alas, I'm seeing a client that night. Here are the details:

What does my child need during a tantrum?

What do I need??

How do old patterns from my childhood
repeat in my current family?

Postpartum Support International of Washington
proudly presents an evening with


Margaret Bergmann-Ness, MA, LICSW

to discuss

Reflective Parenting

An approach to parenting that can
· improve communication
· help you understand your child's emotions
· increase your confidence as a parent

Tuesday, May 19, 2009
7:00 - 8:30 pm

Mosaic Coffeehouse - 4401 2nd Ave NE, Seattle, WA

Suggested donation $5

Questions? 1-888-404-7763 (PPMD)

Feeling Anxious About Having "The Talk" with your Adolescent?

I read this story about the Birds and Bees Text Line in the New York Times, and thought it might interest parents of adolescents who are feeling anxious about talking about sex and getting it right with their adolescent. With the text line, teens can text a question to a trained public health officer, and receive a response within a few minutes. The article also has links to other useful sex ed sites like Go Ask Alice.

You don't have to have all the answers to your adolescents' questions. It's good to know there's someone out there (who is more informed than the other kids in the locker room) who does.